Funny Christmas Gifts for Her: Rude T-Shirts for Girlfriends, Wives and Best Friends

Every year, gift guides for women suggest the same three things: a candle, a bath set and a mug that says "Prosecco o'clock". She has had all three. She has re-gifted two of them. Funny Christmas gifts for her are for people who have noticed that the women in their lives are funnier, ruder and more tired than any of those guides assume.

This is the shortlist of funny gifts for women that people buy from us at Christmas, sorted by who you are buying for: girlfriend, wife, sister or best friend. Everything here is in our Funny Gifts for Her collection, with the best-sellers first.

Picking a funny gift for her

The rule is simple. Buy the joke she already makes about herself. If she complains about her stomach after every meal, there is a shirt for that. If her voice notes run longer than a podcast, there is a shirt for that too. A gift that shows you have been listening lands better than anything expensive.

Then decide how rude to go. Some of the gifts below are clean enough for a family Christmas. Some are better opened in private. We have marked which is which.

The best-sellers

Tummy Ache Survivor

Tummy Ache Survivor is the best-selling funny gift for women in the collection. A raccoon stares straight down the lens with two more lurking behind it, in a purple haze, under heavy chrome lettering like a 1990s tour shirt. It is for the friend with the weak stomach, the dairy problem or the very strong relationship with garlic dip. It is also clean enough to open in front of anyone.

Lesbians Eat What?

Lesbians Eat What? is a bootleg rap tee built from photos of startled kittens, one holding both paws to its cheeks, with pink roses and hibiscus flowers around them. It is one of the most-searched designs on the site, a pride t-shirt and a night-out shirt in one.

Ketamean Girls

Ketamean Girls is a hand-drawn cartoon of three women in Y2K pink, each with a horse's head where her own should be. It is a funny gift for her if she can quote a certain 2004 film word for word, and for the kind of group chat that already has a nickname for itself.

Funny Christmas gifts for your girlfriend

A girlfriend gift needs to be something she will actually wear, which means it needs to look good as well as being funny.

Pink Freud

Pink Freud is a pink line portrait of the founder of psychoanalysis, with a beam of light going in one side of his head and out the back as a rainbow. Underneath it says Dark Side of Your Mom. It is for music fans, psychology students and anyone who enjoys a your-mum joke with a reading list.

My Anxiety Is Chronic, My Ass Is Iconic

My Anxiety Is Chronic, My Ass Is Iconic says what a lot of women think about themselves on a good day. It is a confidence boost and an honest diagnosis on one shirt.

Diagnosed with Slay-DHD

Diagnosed with Slay-DHD is for the girlfriend who has started four hobbies this year, finished none of them, and looked great doing it.

Sid on My Face

Sid on My Face is embroidered in small black thread on the left chest: a line-drawn sloth with long eyelashes and buck teeth, and the words arched around it. From a distance it looks like a cute cartoon. The joke takes a second longer to land, which is the best part.

Funny Christmas gifts for your wife

You know her better than anyone, so you know which of these will make her laugh and which will make her leave the room.

Lactose Tolerant

A Holstein cow stares out of a cloud of green lightning, surrounded by a milkshake, a sundae, a cheeseboard and a glass of milk. The Lactose Tolerant t-shirt is for the wife who has been asked one too many times whether she is sure she should be having that.

I Love Cheese

Hooded skeletons holding wedges of cheese and a cheese knife, in a gold haze. I Love Cheese is a safe funny gift for a wife whose idea of a perfect evening is a cheeseboard and nobody talking to her.

Overworked Underfucked

Overworked Underfucked is a collage of raccoons and possums under orange and gold chrome lettering. It is a rude gift for women who are running the house, the job and the family WhatsApp group, and want someone to acknowledge it. If you are partly responsible for the second word, think carefully before you wrap it.

Queef Queen

Queef Queen is the rudest thing on this page. You will know whether it is a good idea. If you have to ask, it isn't.

Funny gifts for your sister or best friend

Sisters and best friends can take anything. These are the ones they will send a photo of to the group chat.

Even Baddies Get Saddies

Even Baddies Get Saddies is for the friend who is iconic at the party and crying in the taxi home. It is one of the gentler ones.

Professional Yapper

Every friendship group has one. Professional Yapper is for the person whose voice notes need a table of contents.

Houston, We Have Like, So Many Problems

Houston We Have Like, So Many Problems is for the sister who calls you with a crisis every Tuesday and has it solved by Wednesday.

Live Laugh Lobotomy

The Live Laugh Lobotomy t-shirt is hand-drawn, and it is for anyone who has ever stood in a kitchen and stared at a wooden sign telling them how to feel.

Coming Out of My Cave

Coming Out of My Cave and I've Been Doing Just Fine pairs a vintage engraving of a haloed figure stepping out of a rock tomb with a lyric everyone over 25 can sing. It is for the friend who disappears for a month and comes back as if nothing happened.

Off My Tits on Aperol Spritz

If you want something smaller, the Off My Tits on Aperol Spritz cap is an embroidered cotton twill cap with an adjustable strap. It is the best-selling cap in our stocking fillers range, and it makes a good add-on to a t-shirt.

There are over a hundred products in our funny gifts for her collection if you want to keep looking.

Sizing, hoodies and delivery

• Sizing. Our t-shirts are heavyweight cotton in a unisex regular fit that runs true to size. Unisex means a slightly roomier cut than a fitted women's tee. If she likes things fitted, buy her usual size. If she likes them oversized, go up one.
• Crop tops and hoodies. Several of these designs, including Lesbians Eat What? and Ketamean Girls, also come as a women's crop top and as a hoodie. The hoodies are in our funny hoodies collection, which is the warmer option for a Christmas present.
• Buy three, the fourth is free. That covers her, her sister and her best friend, with one left over for you.
• Delivery. Everything is printed to order. Order by mid-December for Christmas delivery; the exact date for your country is shown at checkout.

Buying for him too? Our funny gifts for him collection has the men's side covered. Smaller gifts are in funny stocking fillers, and if you have drawn her in the office draw, try rude Secret Santa gifts.

Funny gifts for her: questions

What is a good funny Christmas gift for a woman who has everything?

A t-shirt with a joke she already tells about herself. Tummy Ache Survivor, Professional Yapper and Even Baddies Get Saddies all work without being too personal.

Which ones are safe to open in front of family?

Tummy Ache Survivor, Lactose Tolerant, I Love Cheese, Pink Freud and Professional Yapper. Save Queef Queen and Overworked Underfucked for later.

What size should I buy her?

Her usual size for a relaxed fit, or one size up if she likes her t-shirts oversized. The tees are unisex and true to size.

When do I need to order by for Christmas?

Order by mid-December for Christmas delivery. The exact date for your country is shown at checkout.

Do you ship outside the UK?

Yes. We are UK-based and ship worldwide from fulfilment centres in the US, Australia, Canada and Europe.

Start here

The full range is in Funny Gifts for Her, with the best-sellers at the top.