Funny Stocking Fillers: Rude Mugs and Caps for Adults

Somebody, at some point, decided that a satsuma, a chocolate coin and a pair of novelty socks counted as a stocking. Everyone went along with it, and that is how we ended up here. Funny stocking fillers are the small presents that actually get remembered: the ones opened first thing on Christmas morning, before anyone has had a coffee, that make the whole room laugh.

This guide is the shortlist of the rude and funny stocking fillers people buy from us, mostly mugs and caps, because those are the things that fit in a stocking and still get used in February. Everything here is in our Funny Stocking Fillers collection, which has the full range sorted by what sells.

What makes a good stocking filler?

A good stocking filler is small, cheap enough to be silly, and useful enough that it doesn't go straight in a drawer. Mugs and caps tick all three. A mug gets used every day, so the joke keeps going for years. A cap is one size, so you can buy it for anyone without asking a single question.

The other thing a stocking filler needs is a reaction. Nobody remembers the lip balm. Everybody remembers the mug that said Master Baiter on it, mainly because Grandad asked what it meant.

Funny stocking fillers: the caps

Our caps are embroidered vintage cotton twill dad caps with an adjustable strap. One size fits most heads, which matters when you are buying for someone who will never tell you their hat size.

Off My Tits on Aperol Spritz

The Off My Tits on Aperol Spritz cap is the best-selling stocking filler in the collection. It is a rude stocking filler for her, specifically for the friend who orders a spritz in November and calls it a summer drink. It also tends to come back out on holiday, which is more than you can say for the satsuma.

Forklift Certified

The Forklift Certified cap is a stocking filler for men who think a qualification is a personality. It works on people who drive forklifts and, somehow, even better on people who don't. There is a matching Forklift Certified mug if you want to do a set.

Tummy Ache Survivor

The Tummy Ache Survivor cap is for the friend who has an opinion about every restaurant's dairy policy. The t-shirt version is one of our most-searched designs, and the cap is a quieter way to wear the same joke.

Lactose Tolerant

Two words on a cap. The Lactose Tolerant cap is for someone who has a second helping of cheese on Christmas Day and wants everyone to know it was a choice. Pair it with the Gluten Tolerant cap for anyone who eats like it is still 1995.

Live Laugh Lobotomy

The Live Laugh Lobotomy cap is for anyone who has seen a "Live Laugh Love" sign in a kitchen and felt something die inside. It is one of the few stocking fillers for adults that works equally well on men and women.

The food ones

If you want something funny and not rude, start with food. The I Heart Garlic Bread cap and the Chicken Nugget Enthusiast cap are stocking fillers you can give to anyone, including the in-laws, without needing to explain yourself.

I Heart Dumb Blondes

The I Heart Dumb Blondes cap sounds like it is about one thing and the t-shirt version shows it is about golden retrievers. It is a good stocking filler for anyone with a dog that has never had a thought in its life.

Fluent in Yapenese

For the person who sends voice notes longer than a podcast. The Fluent in Yapenese cap is a stocking filler for her, or for him, or for whoever in your house has never finished a story in under ten minutes.

There are more caps and mugs on the funny stocking fillers page, around fifty in total, with the best-sellers at the top.

Rude stocking fillers: the mugs

Our mugs are 11oz white glossy ceramic, dishwasher and microwave safe. A mug is the cheapest thing on the page and the one that gets the most use, which makes it the best value stocking filler we sell.

Master Baiter

The Master Baiter mug is the mug version of one of our best-selling t-shirts. It is the obvious rude stocking filler for men who fish, and for men who have never been near a river but enjoy the joke.

Born to Shit, Forced to Wipe

The Born to Shit Forced to Wipe mug has a cartoon monkey face with the slogan curved above and below it. It is crude, it is cheap, and it is one of the most-searched designs we have.

Registered Flex Offender

For the man who takes his protein shaker everywhere. The Registered Flex Offender mug is a stocking filler for gym people, and a way of telling them, gently, that everyone has noticed.

I Love Older Women

The I Love Older Women mug is a stocking filler with a very specific audience. You will know if it is right. If it is, it is very right.

Hold On, I'm Overstimulated

The Hold on I'm Overstimulated mug is the best-selling mug in the collection. It is a stocking filler for her, usually, and the right thing to be holding at 7am on Christmas morning while everyone else shouts.

Even Baddies Get Saddies

Even Baddies Get Saddies is for the friend who is iconic in public and crying at adverts in private. It is one of the gentler ones here.

Not Fast, Not Furious

The Not Fast Not Furious mug is for the person who drives at exactly the speed limit, in the middle lane, and is entirely at peace with it.

Christmas stocking fillers

If you want something that at least looks seasonal, start with these two Christmas mugs. The I Put Out for Santa mug has a glass of milk, a carrot and some cookies on it, and reads as innocent for about a second. The same design comes as an I Put Out for Santa t-shirt. The Meowy Christmas mug is for the cat person, and is about as safe as this website gets.

Buying stocking fillers

• No sizes to worry about. Caps adjust and mugs don't come in sizes, so you can't get it wrong.
• Buy three, the fourth is free. That is four stockings filled for the price of three, or one very full stocking.
• Order in time. Everything is made to order. Order by mid-December for Christmas delivery; the exact date for your country is shown at checkout.
• Mix and match. Several designs, Tummy Ache Survivor and Lactose Tolerant among them, come as a mug, a cap and a t-shirt, so you can do a matching set.

If you are after the main present rather than the stocking, our funny gifts for him and funny gifts for her collections have the t-shirts, and the warmer versions are in funny hoodies. If you have drawn someone in the office draw, the mugs here double as cheap gifts and there are more ideas in rude Secret Santa gifts.

Stocking filler questions

What are good stocking fillers for men?

Mugs and caps with a joke he will repeat. Master Baiter, Forklift Certified and Registered Flex Offender are the usual picks. If he says he doesn't want anything, a mug is the safest bet, because he will use it anyway.

What are good stocking fillers for her?

Off My Tits on Aperol Spritz is the best-seller. The Tummy Ache Survivor cap and the Hold on I'm Overstimulated mug are close behind. If you are not sure how rude to go, the food caps are the safe option.

Are these stocking fillers for adults only?

A lot of them, yes. The swearing and innuendo are the point. The food caps and the Meowy Christmas mug are the gentle ones.

Will a cap fit in a stocking?

Yes. The caps are unstructured, with no stiff front panel, so they fit in a normal stocking.

When should I order stocking fillers for Christmas?

Order by mid-December. The exact date for your country is shown at checkout.

Start here

The full list is in Funny Stocking Fillers, with the best-sellers first.