9 Best Funny T-Shirts That Say Way Too Much About You

Unhinged? Possibly. Iconic? Absolutely.

Funny T-shirts aren’t just fashion — they’re full-on personality diagnostics in cotton.

Some people wear logos. You wear unfiltered opinions, unsolicited confessions, and jokes that may or may not get you kicked out of family dinners.

We’ve rounded up the best funny T-shirts from Orbital’s collection that go way beyond “haha relatable” and straight into weaponised self-expression. These are the kinds of tees that get you stopped in the street — or banned from group chats.

Let’s get into it.

1. Tummy Ache Survivor

Chronic bloating? Chaotic energy? You’re the drama and the diagnosis.

This tee turns your gut issues into a badge of honour. Whether you’re curled up with a peppermint tea or confidently power-walking to the nearest toilet, you’re repping your internal trauma like it’s high fashion.

Why it slaps:

• Makes your suffering instantly iconic

• Gets laughs and knowing nods from fellow lactose victims

• Pairs beautifully with anxiety and oversized hoodies

👉 Grab the Tummy Ache Survivor T-shirt — because your IBS deserves merch.

2. Alpha Male (Updated Design!)

Not just a T-shirt — a walking meme.

Whether you’re ironically playing the “top G” or genuinely giving protein-shake energy, this shirt speaks before you even open your mouth. It’s giving delusional confidence, gym addiction, and podcast host delusions — and honestly, we respect it.

Why it slaps:

• Guaranteed side-eyes from baristas and exes

• Wears well with creatine breath and cargo shorts

• Bold enough to make your dad uncomfortable (which is a win)

👉 Cop the Alpha Male T-shirt (Updated Design) — because subtlety is for betas.

3. Master Baiter (OG Design)

You saw the pun. You couldn’t resist. And now you own a shirt that makes strangers chuckle, cringe, or question your eligibility to work with children.

It’s the ultimate chaos tee — juvenile, brilliant, and low-key genius. Wear it anywhere from the pub to family BBQs (if you're brave enough). High risk. Higher comedy.

Why it slaps:

• Icon-level wordplay that guarantees attention

• Makes HR departments nervous

• Ideal for mates who live for inappropriate humour

👉 Snag the Master Baiter OG Design T-shirt — it’s clever, it’s rude, it’s you.

4. Coming Out of My Cave and I’ve Been Doing Just Fine

The only shirt that doubles as therapy and a Killers reference.

Perfect for introverts with unprocessed trauma, lockdown nostalgia, or a god-tier Spotify Wrapped. It’s ironic, emo, and just edgy enough to let people know you peaked during quarantine.

Why it slaps:

• Screams “I’ve been silently spiralling since 2020”

• Iconic lyric, unironically relatable

• Great for gigs, festivals, or ghosting your entire group chat

👉 Buy the Coming Out of My Cave T-shirt — because Mr. Brightside is your therapist.

5. I Love Garlic Bread

You’re not like other girls. You’re carb-based.

This tee is for the people who know bread is love, bread is life. Bonus points if your love language is oven temps and you think Domino’s garlic dip should be served at weddings.

Why it slaps:

• Wholesome but still wildly unhinged

• Sparks universal respect — everyone loves garlic bread

• Wearable proof that food is your main personality trait

👉 Wear the I Love Garlic Bread T-shirt — because you flirt in carbs, not compliments.

6. Gluten Tolerant

A controversial opinion in a world of oat milk warriors.

This shirt exists to trigger the intolerant — in more ways than one. It’s smug, unnecessary, and definitely not safe to wear to your flatmate’s vegan birthday brunch.

Why it slaps:

• Sarcasm with a side of wheat

• Guaranteed side-eyes from wellness influencers

• Just edgy enough for ironic foodies and absolute menaces

👉 Cop the Gluten Tolerant T-shirt — normal is boring. Bread is not.

7. Registered Flex Offender

You lift. You flex. You overshare.

This shirt is for the gym rats who take mirror selfies like it’s a religious act. It’s loud. It’s obnoxious. It’s legally concerning. But it’s also 100% iconic.

Why it slaps:

• Bold enough to make people move away on public transport

• Gym-ready, brunch-inappropriate

• Delivers big “my max rep is my love language” energy

👉 Get the Registered Flex Offender T-shirt — skip leg day, never skip the drip.

8. Lord Show me the Whey T-Shirt

Part preacher. Part protein junkie.

This one’s for the chosen ones hitting PBs with divine intervention. Spiritual gains, actual gainz — you name it. The holy trinity is now bench, squat, deadlift.

Why it slaps:

• Looks hard in the gym, ironic at Sunday roast

• Best paired with creatine and Catholic guilt

• Guaranteed blasphemy bonus

👉 Lift with the Jesus Is My Gym Spotter T-shirt — for when your sins are heavy but your squat is heavier.

9. Iron Deficiency Princess: The T-Shirt for Girls Who Faint Cute

Low iron, high impact.
The Iron Deficiency Princess Vintage Style T-Shirt is for the girlies who eat ice cubes recreationally, stand up too fast and see God, and still manage to slay in a claw clip and oversized hoodie.

You’re not just tired.You’re medically mysterious, ✨aesthetic✨, and absolutely spiralling — but make it Pinterest-worthy.

Why it slaps:

• Vintage design that says “coquette” but also “clinically pale”

• Soft, oversized, and strong enough to hide the fact you haven't stood up in 3 hours

• Makes your friends laugh and your GP mildly concerned

• Screams “I romanticise fainting spells” in the cutest possible way

• Guaranteed to get compliments and iron supplement recommendations

👉 Rep the God’s Favourite Mistake T-shirt — because trauma, but make it fashion.

So, What’s Your T-shirt Telling Us?

You’re not wearing a funny T-shirt to blend in. You’re wearing it to announce your vibe before you even speak.

Whether you’re chaotic good, emotionally unavailable, or simply hungry — there’s a tee for that.

👉 Shop the full funny T-shirt collection from Orbital
Because your clothes should say exactly what your therapist isn’t ready to hear.