Funny T-Shirts Decoded - What Your Unhinged Tee Really Says About You

You are what you wear.

Because nothing says “emotionally stable adult” like spending £22 on a shirt that screams “Tummy Ache Survivor.”

We’ve gone full David Attenborough to observe the majestic species that wear these unhinged T-shirts in the wild — and decoded exactly what your top half is telling the world about your inner chaos.

Let’s begin the judgment.

1. Coming Out of My Cave and I’ve Been Doing Just Fine

What you think it says:
Haha! The Killers! I’m quirky and nostalgic and mildly depressed!

What it actually says:
You haven’t seen the sun since 2020. You emotionally peaked during lockdown. You own one fork. Your Spotify Wrapped is 80% Mr. Brightside and 20% white noise for sleep anxiety.

👉 Shop the Coming Out of My Cave and I’ve Been Doing Just Fine T-shirt and let your T-shirt do the emotional heavy lifting.

2. Tummy Ache Survivor

What you think it says:
I’m soft and self-aware! Look at me embracing my IBS girl era.

What it actually says:
You ate a cheeseburger in 2019 and still talk about it like it was 'Nam. Your blood type is iced coffee. You identify as “chronically unwell” and once Googled “can you overdose on multivitamins.”

👉 Get the Tummy Ache Survivor T-shirt— your gut may not be strong, but your style is.

3. Master Baiter (OG Design)

What you think it says:
Classic wordplay. Bit cheeky. Bit clever.

What it actually says:
You’ve made at least one HR violation joke at work. You think your Tinder bio is hilarious. Your nan read this shirt and hasn’t made eye contact with you since. Honestly? You deserve that.

👉 Grab the Master Baiter OG Design T-shirt — subtlety is dead, long live the pun.

4. I Love Garlic Bread

What you think it says:
I’m relatable! Who doesn’t love carbs and humour?

What it actually says:
You’ve built your entire personality around garlic bread to avoid discussing your actual feelings. You flirt using oven temps. You believe Domino’s Garlic & Herb dip could fix the economy.

👉 Wear your truth with the I Love Garlic Bread T-shirt — because carbs > therapy.

5. Alpha Male (Updated Design!)

What you think it says:
I’m confident. I’m dominant. Sigma grindset.

What it actually says:
You own a podcast mic but no listeners. You send voice notes over 3 minutes. You’ve said “she’s mid” out loud and meant it. This shirt is your Roman Empire.

👉 Rock the Alpha Male T-shirt (Updated Design) — because someone has to gaslight the group chat.

6. Gluten Tolerant

What you think it says:
I’m edgy! I’m going against the grain! (Literally.)

What it actually says:
You think “normal” is a slur. You bought this just to upset your flatmate with a gluten allergy. You’ve never had dietary restrictions, just a desperate need for attention.

👉 Cop the Gluten Tolerant T-shirt — the gluten may be basic, but you’re anything but.

7. Registered Flex Offender

What you think it says:
I’m built. I’m cheeky. I’m basically Dwayne The Rock Johnson if he had riz.

What it actually says:
You refer to the gym as “church.” You own more shaker bottles than pairs of socks. You once asked someone “what their macros are” in a funeral buffet line. This shirt is your confession.

👉 Get the Registered Flex Offender T-shirt — no reps skipped, no shame shown.

You’re a Walking Red Flag, and We Love That for You

Funny T-shirts aren’t just clothes.
They’re battle cries. Personality tests. Walking ick generators.

So if you’re gonna be unwell, oversharing, or emotionally allergic to silence — at least be well-dressed and deeply unserious about it.

💀 Ready to wear your chaos?

👉 Shop the full unhinged T-shirt collection here. They won’t fix your personality, but they’ll make it iconic.

They won’t fix your trauma, but they’ll make it look cool.
Probably.

Cheers x