Best Funny Festival T-shirts

You’ve got your tent that smells like regret, your sunnies that scream “I lost my mates again,” and your hydration pack full of vodka. All that’s missing? A shirt so unhinged it turns heads harder than a bass drop. 

Whether you’re raving in a muddy field, pulling questionable moves in the silent disco, or queuing for overpriced chips, these Orbital tees are the ultimate festival fit. Funny, filthy, and just the right amount of "should I be worried about them?"

1. IBS – i be shittin

Forget subtlety—this tee’s a full-blown confessional. If your gut’s more dramatic than your ex, wear it with pride. It’s hilarious, brutally honest, and weirdly relatable after three days of warm cider and zero vegetables. For the chronically unwell kings and queens out there, this shirt says what we’re all thinking: “I might look cute now, but gimme 10 minutes and a portaloo.”

Why it slaps:

• Gastro issues but make it fashion
  

• Adds street cred to your loo sprint
  

• Breathable tee that pairs well with regret
  

• Dark humour for your darkest moments

👉 Shop IBS Tee

2. Lactose Tolerant (OG Design)

Who are you trying to fool? You know damn well you’re smashing cheesy chips after midnight and praying your gut doesn’t betray you. This tee is for the brave lactose warriors who’ve accepted their fate and still choose vibes over digestion. It’s cheeky, weirdly nostalgic, and fits like a hug from your mum if your mum was a walking meme.

Why it slaps:

• Unhinged but accurate—just like you
  

• OG print adds vintage meme energy
  

• Screams “no regrets” (except intestinal ones)
  

• Ideal for cheese-fuelled dance floor moments

👉 Shop Lactose Tolerant (OG Design)

3. Tummy Ache Survivor

This isn’t just a T-shirt — it’s a war medal. You’ve braved the festival toilets, devoured some questionable chicken wraps, and lived to tell the tale (with mild IBS). This shirt lets everyone know you’ve seen things… brown things. It’s got big “I shouldn’t have eaten that but YOLO” energy, and frankly, that’s the festival spirit. Whether you’re clutching your stomach mid-mosh pit or making eye contact with a porta-loo demon, this tee has your back (and your bowels).

Why it slaps:

• Perfect for when your stomach’s doing dubstep
  

• Conversation starter with other survivors of the food truck
  

• Light material = breathable when things get sweaty (and they will)
  

• Makes your mates laugh while you’re crying inside
  

👉 Shop the Tummy Ache Survivor Tee

4. Master Baiter (OG Design)

Cast your line, you cheeky sod. Whether you’re into fishing or just the innuendo, this tee reels in laughs quicker than a TikTok thirst trap. It’s the perfect combo of dad-joke filth and 2am confidence. Great for confusing boomers and impressing anyone with a pulse, this OG design is a festival flex and a walking double entendre. If you’re the kind of bloke who brings a six-pack to a paddle boat, you need this in your life.

Why it slaps:

• Legendary pun game = unmatched levels of stupid genius
  

• Looks even better after four tinnies and a vape rip
  

• Black hides beer, sweat, and dignity loss
  

• Guaranteed at least one “oi that’s brilliant” from a random lad in a bucket hat
  

👉 Shop Master Baiter (OG Design)

5. Gays Eat What

This one’s for the icons, the divas, and anyone who knows the power of a good clapback. This tee’s got sass, spice, and zero time for homophobic nonsense. Loud, proud, and dangerously funny, it’s a fit that slays harder than your group chat on bottomless brunch day. Whether you’re in the middle of Pride month or just serving looks in the beer queue, this one is for the girls, gays, and theys who came to be seen.

Why it slaps:

• Camp. Loud. Unapologetically iconic.
  

• Works as both armour and attitude
  

• Screams “try me” but in Comic Sans
  

• Can and will start dance circles at 3am

👉 Shop Gays Eat What Tee

6. I Love Garlic Bread

No lies detected. This is a public declaration of your one true love: garlic bread. Whether you’re sober, steaming, or somewhere in between, this tee tells the world your priorities are straight: carbs first, everything else later. It’s soft, it’s loud, and it’s universally understood across all festival dialects. Bonus points if you actually pack a garlic baguette in your bum bag like the carb king you are.

Why it slaps:

• The ultimate crowd-pleaser—who doesn’t love garlic bread?
  

• White tee = glows in UV, bless
  

• Great for spotting your mates from 200 yards away
  

• Helps you bond with strangers over food-based chat

👉 Shop I Love Garlic Bread Tee

Still reading? Thought so. If you’re not already throwing your debit card at the screen, it’s time to get involved. Orbital’s festival tee collection is packed with savage slogans, dirty jokes, and enough cringe to make your mum pray harder. Perfect for the field, the rave, or the pub toilet selfie.

Go ahead—be the main character in your group. Be the walking meme. Be the chaotic neutral fit that strangers ask to take photos with. And if your shirt gets you kicked out of the silent disco, just know: it was worth it.

Shop the full unhinged Orbital tee collection now and ruin your camera roll in style.